Grace Phelps

An Excerpt from my Journal. Originally written on June 27, 2023.

Last week, the Lord was moving through many of my teammates to heal people, as well as, give them spiritual eyes to discern demonic spirits. I was so hungry to be used by the Lord. My prayer was, “Lord if it’s from you I want to walk in it, but grant me the character to sustain the power you will pour out.”

I had so many questions about anointing and healing and deliverance. I wanted desperately to understand and to be one of God’s vessels for those things. I was crying out to God, “Abba, I don’t just want to be an observer of your power, I want to be a participant!!” While I was so busy being frustrated and asking questions, the Lord simply said, “Come away with me. I want to be with you.”

Come away with me.

At first, I thought to myself, “Okay, that’s nice, but I’ve been with you, Lord. I want something new.” And He simply said, “Be still and wait.”

After a few days, the Lord worked in my heart and I became so excited to meet with Him in the secret place. I was so expectant for what he would say and just to abide with him.

If you do not know about the secret place, it is simply the place where you meet with the Lord. A place that’s uninterrupted and authentic. It’s messy and vulnerable and tender and sacred. It does not have to be aesthetic or appear “holy.” It could be a closet, a bench, a beach, a floor. Simply ask him to meet with you and then abide.

To continue with the story, I was still in the middle of this wrestle. On Sunday night, we went to a house church in LA and one of the believers read Luke 10:20 twelve times. I was wrecked. Completely undone. Here it is…

“However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

Luke 10:20

Read it twelve times, if you like. Each time allow it to sink in a little deeper.

Yes, spiritual gifts are from the Lord. Yes, it is good to desire them. Yes, it’s incredible when God pours out his power visibly in front of us. But more than any spiritual gift, knowing Jesus is the gift.

Jesus is the gift. It’s him.

Nothing else matters more than being with Jesus forever. Jesus said to his followers, “Rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

Nothing else.

As I read this verse, I was asking the Lord to give me deeper understanding of this. I needed a deeper revelation of what it meant for Jesus to be enough for me. I kept reading and came to verse 27 of the same chapter which says,

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your strength and with all your strength and with all your mind”

I asked him, “What does it look like the love you with all my heart, strength and mind?” He simply said, “It looks like the cross.”

Woah. As if I wasn’t undone before, I was now.

And then he continued to give me revelation of Jesus on this cross. Jesus loved the Lord God with all his heart as he obediently went to the cross to create a way for restored relationship between us and God. Jesus loved the Lord with all his strength as he used every ounce of his being to lift his body up in order that he would speak out forgiveness of humanity’s sin and give glory to God as he hung there dying. In these words that he spoke, he loved God with all his mind.

Lord, I want to love you like that.

I want to walk in complete trust and obedience to you, no matter the cost.

I want to use every ounce of my strength to lead others to you and glorify your name.

I want to speak truth. I want my mind to dwell on the hope of heaven.